Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
