I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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