I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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