I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
