we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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