I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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