WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
