She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
