i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
