when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
