when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She is in my trunk
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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