I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
