Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
