My brain says no but my pants say off.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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