Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
