Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
