I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
