dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
