Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
