Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
