im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
