idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
