Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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