when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You have to summon your inner elephant
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
