it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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