apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
