Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The best revenge is premature balding
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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