FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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