Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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