I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
