omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
