I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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