Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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