Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
