If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
