brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
