shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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