He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
