names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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