I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
