Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
