I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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