So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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