question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
