just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
