Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
