Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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