Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
