There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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