There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i now understand why vodka
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
