it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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