My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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